Something to Talk About
by swimfin77
Summary: People are whispering about Freddie and Sam...
1. It Begins

Hi everybody! So, I'm having a bit of writer's block on iSleepwalk, and this idea has been bouncing around in my head for a while now, and you know how weird I am with stray ideas. Oh you don't? Well trust me, I'm very weird. I'm not too sure about this though, so let me know if you think I should continue! Oh, and I got the idea from the song "Something to Talk About" by Bonnie Raitt. There's a Youtube link at the bottom of the page, if you're curious…

*****DISCLAIMER***** I do not own iCarly. (Really, if I did, would I be spending my time writing fan fiction about Seddie?)

XXXX

I slammed my locker shut with a sigh. _Just another Monday._ I thought gloomily. Another cold, rainy Seattle Monday. School had only just begun, but I could already feel myself longing for a break. And Halloween was two weeks away! I groaned quietly, leaning back against the cold metal of the lockers. I'm not sure how much more of this I can take…

"Hey Sam!" I straightened up and gave the petite brunette who had just skipped over to my side a little wave. Really, how she could manage to be so perky this early in the morning was beyond me. Oh well, Carly was the practically the only thing that made school halfway bearable. Which was more than I could say for the third member of our little trio… "Morning Freddie!" I heard Carly call to someone over my shoulder. Speak of the dork.

"Good morning Carly." he chirped cheerfully, coming to a stop next to me and giving my best friend a wide smile. "Sam." he continued, in a much more offhand tone. No smile for me either. Not as long as I was Sam, and he was Freddie. Not that that stopped me from shooting him a smirk. "Sup Freddork. Oh, in case you were wondering, Carly will never love you." Or from leaning back in satisfaction as his expression shifted from bored to confused to angry.

"Hey!" he shouted, finally paying me enough attention to shoot a glare my way. "Come on Sam! School hasn't even started yet, and you're already on my case?"

I just smirked. I couldn't help it; the kid was just too easy. "Well of course Fredward." I began, slinging an arm around his shoulders. "Insulting you is the best way to start my day."

"Argh!" he grunted, shrugging my arm off and turning to face me. "Sam, you're just … you're so…" I laughed as he struggled to come up with a suitable insult.

"Hmm? I'm what Freddie?" I mocked playfully. I really was just playing around too. I hadn't been able to muster the energy to insult Freddie full-force since…the incident. That was what I called it anyway. I had no idea how Freddie referred to what had happened between us on his fire escape, if he did at all. We made good on our promise though; we never mentioned it to anyone, and we never acted like anything had happened at all. We just went along like we usually did; bickering back and forth every chance we got. The insults were just…less intense. Well, mine were anyway.

I grinned as his face grew red. He opened his mouth to retort when a girl came running up to us. "Hey Sam, Freddie! Can I ask you guys something?" she inquired, big green eyes shining.

Stopping short, Freddie and I turned to face the strange girl. "Um, sure…?" I replied hesitantly. I knew this girl from somewhere, but I just couldn't remember her name…

"Sophie." she volunteered. "Sophie Evans. I'm in your World History class." Oh. That would explain why I couldn't remember her. I'd slept through almost every History class so far this year. "So anyway, I was just wondering…are you two going out?"

"WHAT?!!" I couldn't help but shriek. Freddie and I looked over at each other, and burst out laughing. "You thought--" we both gasped together. "That we— we were going--" we couldn't even finish after that. Honestly, the idea that Freddork and I would ever be together is…just too weird for words. "Why?" we asked simultaneously yet again, and I couldn't help but lean towards him and hit his arm softly with my backpack. "Hey, stop that." I joked, grinning at him.

"Really Sophie." Carly piped in, looking very left out of the conversation, but every bit as incredulous as Freddie and I. "Where would you get an idea like that?"

Sophie suddenly looked nervous, turning her eyes to the floor. "Oh, well…lots of people are talking about it…" she muttered to her feet.

"Are you serious?" I asked, refusing to believe what this girl was telling me. People were talking about… me and Freddie? Together? Like together as in dating? Where the hell had _this_ come from?

Sophie nodded eyes wide. "I hear it all around school. But, um, that's really all I had to say, so I'm just going to go…" she trailed off, casting a nervous look at mine and Freddie's faces. And with that, she just took off down the hall, not knowing what she had just started.

We just stood there for a while, staring at each other. I kept going back and forth, from Carly and Freddie's shocked faces to the space where Sophie had just been. I just couldn't get pass it. People actually thought Freddie and I were _dating_?" Hello? Had they ever _seen_ us together? We couldn't be in the same room without finding something to fight about.

I was so shell-shocked, I didn't even hear the bell ring until Carly snapped out of her trance and started pulling me towards English. "Come on Sam, we're going to be late." she mumbled while I let her drag me along. The last thing I saw as I looked back at the lockers was Freddie still standing in his exact spot, frozen with shock.

XXXX

"What is _wrong _with people today!?" I cried as I flopped down on the Shay's couch. "I had – get this – six people come up to me and ask if something was going on with me and Freddie. _Six_!! Did they add crazy sauce to the pizza or something?"

"Yeah, no kidding." Freddie agreed, dropping down next to me. "I don't get where everyone's getting this nut-job idea all of a sudden." He seemed to have finally gotten over the shock, but now we were both stuck in a state of disbelief and confusion.

Carly's forehead wrinkled in thought. "Well, actually you guys, I'm not sure it's all that far-fetched…"

"Carls, your joking right?" I shouted, staring at her in shock, only growing more confused when her expression remained completely serious. "Carly, you _know_ us! You're with us all the time! How could you even think--"

"Well for one," she began, a small smirk beginning to form on her lips. "You'd usually bite Freddie's arm off before he got that close to you." I blinked, and looked over to discover just how close the dork and I had gotten. Eyes wide, we scooted away from each other until we were perched on opposite ends of the couch. "And then there was that whole thing when we were cleaning the iCarly studio yesterday…" Ok, that one wasn't my fault! I slipped on Spencer's stupid kneepad and just fell backwards. I didn't know Fredward was behind me, and he didn't have to catch me, we just ended up like that. "Come to think of it, you guys have been acting weird ever since that whole 'first kiss' thing…"

I felt my face grow hot, and stealing a glance at Freddie, I saw his was just as red. "Oh, yeah, well, we've just been…" he began, frantically scrambling for an explanation.

"Hey hey hey, what you two do when I'm not around is none of my business." Carly interrupted, the smirk growing wider. "Now I've got to go pick up some ham for dinner, since you cleaned us out yesterday Sam. Think you two can handle being alone for an hour?" The smirk now fully pronounced, she left the apartment without waiting for a response.

Once the door closed, the apartment suddenly felt much too small for two people. I focused all my attention on looking anywhere but Freddie. I was so intent on _not_ noticing him, in fact, that I nearly missed what he was saying to me. "What?" I asked, finally meeting his eyes.

He rolled his eyes at me. "I was _saying_, what are we going to do about this?"

"Good question." I sighed, settling back on the couch. We couldn't very well let people keep thinking we were dating. The idea itself was absolutely ridiculous. I mean, me and Freddie? It was as good a match as chocolate and halibut. But how were we going to convince people there was nothing between us? Wait…

I sprang up suddenly, startling Freddie. "Fredward, if you're up to it," I began, I mischievous smirk beginning to grow on my lips, "I think I have a perfect idea."

XXXX

***** Well, there we go! So I'm not sure how much I like it so far, let me know what you guys think via that lovely review button!! (Aw, I just love saying "via") And here's a link to a video for the song: .com/watch?v=vCgk8ZHXWwg (it's not Seddie, but it is my other favorite couple, CLOIS!! Lol. I also enjoy Smallville, in case you hadn't noticed.)


	2. The Plan

Hey people! So, after all my initial uncertainty about this story, I'm so glad you guys liked it! I'm also glad that I found some Clois fans as well (I forgot to mention last time, that "chocolate and halibut" line is – sadly – not mine. I ….borrowed it from Smallville, because from what I can see, Clois is just a grown up Seddie….with some super-human powers thrown in.) Anyways, stopping myself before I get into a nice little ramble… here's chapter two of Something to Talk About!!

*****DISCLAIMER***** I do not own iCarly. (I can't think of some smart-alack remark to comment on this with, so….blah)

XXXX

I waited as patiently as I could for Freddie to stop laughing. It was kind of rude, really. Here I was, volunteering a perfectly good idea, and all he could do was laugh in my face. "Well, I'd like to see you come up with something better!" I snarled, crossing my arms and leaning back against the couch with a huff.

"Sam, you, you're actually suggesting we--" he began, but couldn't finish the thought as he dissolved into another fit of laughter. Oh, it was all I could do not to smack that grin off his face… "You want us to actually…_date_?" he asked in disbelief, staring at me like I had grown an extra head.

I felt my face scrunch up in disgust. "Ew, no. Not actually date. We'd just be pretending, to get everyone off our backs." This set off another giggle fit. Really, what guy _giggles_? Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all… The laughter slowly died down, however, as he realized I wasn't joining in.

"You're serious, aren't you?" I said nothing, just sat there, staring at him. "Oh God, you're serious. Ok, how is us pretending to date going to stop people from thinking we're dating? We'd just be confirming everything they think is going on!"

"Very true, my dear dork." I began, grinning as he shot a glare my way. "But you see, if we make everyone think we're _dating_, we can also convince them that we're breaking up." The bewildered expression on his face clearly showed that he had no idea what I was talking about. "Ok, I'm going to make this as simple as I can for ya; we "date". Everyone goes 'Ah-ha, I knew it!' We keep it going for…a few days, a week tops. Then we break up and everyone finds someone else to gossip about. Got it Fredward?"

A look of comprehension began to form on his face. "You know, this just might work…"

"Of course it'll work, you nub!" I scoffed, smacking him lightly in the arm. I may have failed that problem solving test in Algebra, but I know what to do when it counts. The kids at school will be easy to fool. The only hard part of this plan is pretending I actually--" I glanced over at Freddie and shuddered. "_like_ you."

Well, actually, pretending to like Freddie might not be all that hard. We _were_ friends, after all. And, despite all of his lame and extremely nubbish ways, he wasn't all that bad. But pretending that I had feelings, more-than-friendship feelings, in front of our whole school? That might be a bit of a stretch.

Freddie let out a snort. "Yeah, because pretending to like you is gonna be a walk in the park."

"Hey! Well, you…" I trailed off, realizing what he meant. "So, we're really doing this?" I asked, looking over at him hesitantly.

He sighed, leaning back on the couch cushions. "Yeah, I guess we are."

"Hey guys! Freddie still alive in there?" we jumped as we heard Carly on the other side of the apartment door, struggling with the key. Freddie shot up to open the door for her. "Oh, thanks Freddie." she thanked him with a sweet smile. I could practically see the boy melt. Give me a break. How was he going to pretend to be dating me if all he could do was swoon over my best friend? It was annoying, really. "So I'm glad to see you two survived." the aforementioned best friend teased as she set he grocery bags on the kitchen island.

"Yeah, we're great Carly!" Freddie chirped, all bright and sunny now that Carly was in the room. Ugh. It almost makes me sick, watching him fawn over her. It's not that it bugs me personally or anything, it's just so …. annoying. She's never going to feel the same way; I don't know why he keeps trying. "Actually, Sam and I were--"

Ack, Freddie, what are you doing? "We were actually going to get going." I cut in, grabbing Freddie and steering him towards the door.

"But Sam, I just got ham! Don't you want to stay for dinner?" Carly called after us.

"Sorry Carls," I replied, shoving Freddie through the door and turning to face her before stepping through myself. "I've got a big paper due tomorrow on …..problem solving." With that, I quickly shut the door behind me before she got the chance to ask why I had suddenly become so interested in a school paper. I spun on my heel to face an indignant Freddie.

"Why'd you stop me?" he hissed.

"Are you crazy?" I retorted. "You can't tell Carly!" His face turned confused, and I explained, sighing. "The first person people are going to to confirm our story will be Carly. We can't tell her anything; you know how bad Carly is at keeping secrets! She'd blow the whole thing before it even got started."

"Yeah, I guess that makes sense…." Freddie agreed, looking a little down. Humph. Probably just disappointed he won't be able to confide in his precious Carly. See, it's annoying how I can practically predict how Freddie will act in regards to Carly. The boy is so predictable.

We stood there awkwardly for a while, wondering what exactly two friends were supposed to say to each other after agreeing to fake-date. "So….." Freddie began, looking more uncomfortable by the second. "See you tomorrow?"

I smirked. "You bet." I don't know what possessed me to do it – temporary insanity, my never-ending mission to make his life miserable, I'm not sure - but I leaned over and gave Freddie a quick peck on the cheek. "Boyfriend." I smirked, before walking away, leaving Freddie rooted to the spot, staring after me.

XXXX

**** Ugh, why is it I never seem to be happy with this story? Well, this is probably not my best, I'm legit falling asleep as I type this (but omg, how cool would it be to type in your sleep?) Anyway, I'm going to bed. More of this and iSleepwalk coming soon! Night y'all!


End file.
